How Do I Help My Anxious Teen

Teen Anxiety: Why It Happens and How to Help

Anxiety. That relentless, gnawing pit in your stomach. The kind that makes you feel like everything is spiraling out of control. If you’re a parent of a teen, you’ve probably seen this in your child and felt helpless to fix it.

When my friends daughter, Claire, turned 14, I saw her change. Not just the normal teenage mood swings or eye-rolls; it seemed like something much bigger. She went from being a confident, talkative girl to someone who always seemed on edge, lost in her thoughts, withdrawing from everything she used to love. It broke her mom's heart, because, as a mom, you want to make it better. But with anxiety? It’s not that easy

Claire isn’t alone. Anxiety in teenagers is skyrocketing. And it’s not just “normal teen stress.” There’s something about these years—this pivotal stage of growing up—that can make everything feel ten times harder. From school pressures to social media, teens today are facing more than we ever did. After school, we didn't have the constant newsfeed of what all the other teens are doing, what their thoughts were, who they are hanging out with, and who they are talking about. However now, teens can't escape it.

Let’s talk about why anxiety during the teen years is so intense and what you, as a parent, can do to help.

Why Teens Struggle More with Anxiety

1. The Brain Is Under Construction

Imagine you’re trying to renovate your kitchen, but every day someone comes in and adds new countertops, rewires the stove, or messes with the fridge. That’s what’s happening in your teen’s brain. The adolescent brain is undergoing huge changes—especially in the prefrontal cortex, the area responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and managing emotions. But while this part of the brain is still "being constructed” the amygdala—the part responsible for fear and anxiety—is in overdrive with the brake line cut.

Basically, teens are hard-wired to feel everything more—including anxiety. It’s like someone turned up the volume on their emotions but forgot to give them the remote to turn it back down.

2. Social Media: The Anxiety Monster

Now, let's talk about what EVERYONE is talking about lately, social media. Claire would scroll through social media, like TikTok for hours, but her mom had no idea it was feeding her anxiety. I’m talking about the endless highlight reels of everyone’s “perfect” lives, the pressure to keep up with trends, and the constant comparison. It’s exhausting, even as an adult. For a teenager, it can be soul-crushing.

I remember one night when I was hanging out at Claire's moms house and Claire came to us after seeing a post from a friend group she wasn’t invited to. She felt isolated and less than. It’s not just about missing out on a party—teens start questioning their worth, feeling not good enough, and that anxiety grows and grows.

3. Peer Pressure and School Stress

And then there’s school. Grades, future college plans, extracurriculars—all piled on top of each other. Add in the constant drama of teenage relationships, and it's no wonder they feel like they’re drowning. I saw Claire, who once loved learning, get so anxious before tests that she couldn’t sleep. The pressure to be “good enough” in every area of life is intense, and teens don’t always have the tools to manage it.

How Can You Help Your Teen Cope with Anxiety?

So what can you do when your teen is dealing with anxiety? It feels like walking on eggshells. One wrong word, and you might make things worse, right? But there are steps you can take to help them manage their anxiety—and get back to feeling like themselves again.

1. Be Their Safe Place, Not Their Fixer

When Claire first opened up to her mom about her anxiety, she made the classic mom mistake(all good intentions) but she tried to fix it. “Just take deep breaths.” “Maybe if you got more sleep, it would help.” “Why don’t you just talk to your friends?”

None of that worked. Teens don’t need us to fix things; they need to know we’re here, no matter what. Create a space where they feel safe sharing their worries. Sometimes, just sitting quietly with them, holding space for their feelings, is enough.

2. Therapy for Teen Anxiety

Claire’s turning point was finding a therapist she connected with. Therapy for teen anxiety gives them tools to navigate their intense feelings and a place to feel seen and understood. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), for example, helps teens reframe negative thought patterns. Claire’s therapist worked with her to challenge thoughts like “I’m a loser” or “No one likes me,” helping her develop healthier, more realistic perspectives.

If you’re unsure where to start, consider booking a consultation with a therapist who specializes in teen anxiety. At Couples to Cradles Counselling, we have teen therapists that specialize in working with teens. Book your free consultation here

3. Encourage Healthy Routines

Anxiety feeds off of chaos, and teens are living in constant mental chaos. Helping them develop a routine—whether it’s regular meals, sleep schedules, or physical activity—can ground them. For Claire, establishing a nightly wind-down routine before bed (away from her phone) helped her sleep better and manage her stress.

Common Questions from Parents Dealing with Teen Anxiety

Q: How do I know if it’s “normal” stress or anxiety?

It’s normal for teens to feel stress, especially around big events like exams or social conflicts. But if you notice ongoing changes in behavior—like withdrawing from activities they love, constant irritability, trouble sleeping, or physical symptoms like headaches and stomaches—it could be anxiety. Trust your gut. If something feels off, it’s worth exploring further.

Q: Should I push my teen to talk about their anxiety?

Yes and no. Let your teen know that you’re there for them, but don’t force them to talk if they’re not ready. Sometimes, they need time to process on their own. If they don’t feel comfortable talking to you, encourage them to speak with a trusted therapist.

Q: What can I do at home to help?

Keep the lines of communication open, and don’t downplay their feelings. Encourage healthy coping mechanisms like physical activity, journaling, or creative outlets. And most importantly, be patient. Healing from anxiety takes time.

Dealing with the Unique Stress of Social Media

Social media is a beast. Teens are constantly comparing themselves to an unrealistic, filtered version of reality. Limit screen time, especially before bed, and have open conversations about the differences between online portrayals and real life. It’s not about banning social media but helping them develop a healthy relationship with it.

Brain Changes: Why Anxiety Feels So Overwhelming

Remember that construction project we talked about earlier? The brain changes during adolescence mean that teens feel things more deeply and react more intensely. Understanding this can help both you and your teen show more compassion during tough moments. It’s not that they’re trying to be dramatic; it’s that their brain is wired to experience everything more intensely.

Final Thoughts

Helping your teen manage anxiety isn’t about making the anxiety disappear—it’s about equipping them with tools to cope, setting them up for success in their teen years and beyond. And it’s not something they have to do alone.

At Couples to Cradles, we specialize in helping teens and families navigate these challenging times. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember—you don’t have to do this on your own. Book a free consultation with one of our experienced therapists to get started. Together, we can help your teen find relief from anxiety and get back to living their best life.

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