What is Mom Rage?

Mom rage, also known as parental or mom anger, refers to the intense feelings of anger, frustration, or irritability experienced by some mothers in response to the stress and demands of parenting. It can manifest as explosive outbursts or simmering resentment, often triggered by various factors related to the challenges of motherhood. Hi! We are Caitlin and Chelsea, founders of MamaPsychologists and Couples to Cradles Counselling. We are passionate about helping moms enjoy motherhood again.

Several reasons can contribute to mom rage:

1. Sleep Deprivation: Lack of sleep, especially during the early stages of parenting with infants or young children, can lead to increased irritability and reduced emotional regulation, making moms more susceptible to experiencing anger.
2. Overwhelm: The demands of parenting, managing household responsibilities, and possibly balancing work commitments can be overwhelming. Feeling stretched too thin and having little time for personal needs can contribute to feelings of frustration.
3. Parenting Pressure: Societal expectations and self-imposed pressure to be the "perfect" mom can add stress. The fear of making mistakes or not meeting these expectations can trigger anger or resentment.
4. Emotional and Physical Exhaustion: The emotional and physical demands of parenting can leave mothers feeling drained, emotionally exhausted, and less equipped to cope with stressors.
5. Lack of Support: Feeling isolated or unsupported in the parenting journey can exacerbate feelings of frustration and anger. A lack of understanding from others can lead to a sense of being overwhelmed and alone.
6. Unmet Needs: Moms may neglect their own needs while prioritizing their children's well-being, leading to emotional burnout and feelings of resentment.

It's important to recognize that mom rage is a normal human response, and experiencing occasional anger does not make someone a bad parent. Parenting can be challenging, and the intensity of emotions can vary depending on circumstances and individual coping mechanisms. Understanding the triggers behind mom rage can be the first step in developing healthier coping strategies and seeking support to navigate the demands of motherhood more effectively. Open communication, self-care practices, and seeking help when needed can contribute to managing mom rage and promoting a more positive parenting experience.

LET'S TALK COPING WITH MOM RAGE HERE

1. Practice Deep Breathing and Mindfulness

Taking a few moments to breathe deeply can make a world of difference. When you feel that rage bubbling up, try this simple technique:

• Step 1: Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose, counting to four.
• Step 2: Hold your breath for a count of four.
• Step 3: Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of six.

Repeat this a few times. This helps calm your nervous system and gives you a moment to collect your thoughts before reacting. Incorporating mindfulness practices into your daily routine can also help you stay grounded and more in control of your emotions.

2. Create a Mom Rage Journal

Sometimes, just getting your feelings out on paper can be incredibly therapeutic. Keep a journal specifically for those moments when you’re feeling overwhelmed:

• Write It Out: Jot down what triggered your anger, how you felt, and how you reacted.
• Reflect: Later, when you’re calmer, go back and reflect on these entries. Look for patterns and think about what you can do differently next time.
• Positive Affirmations: Include positive affirmations and notes to yourself in your journal. Remind yourself that it’s okay to have tough days and that you’re doing your best.

3. Set Up a Support System

You don’t have to handle everything alone. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups to share your experiences and get advice:

• Talk It Out: Sometimes, just talking to another mom who gets it can help you feel less isolated and more understood.
• Ask for Help: Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Whether it’s asking a friend to watch the kids for an hour or venting to a trusted family member, having support can lighten your emotional load.
• Join a Group: Consider joining a mom’s group, either in person or online. These communities can provide a safe space to share your feelings and get support from others who are going through similar experiences.

4. Practice Self-Care and Set Boundaries

Taking care of yourself is crucial to managing mom rage. Make self-care a priority, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day:

• Daily Breaks: Schedule short breaks throughout your day to do something you enjoy, whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or simply sitting in silence with a cup of tea.
• Set Boundaries: Establish boundaries with your family and friends. Let them know when you need some time to yourself and that it’s important for your well-being.
• Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that it’s okay to feel angry sometimes, and it doesn’t make you a bad mom. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment and remind yourself that you’re doing your best.

Remember, if you’re looking for more in-depth help and strategies, our course Beyond Baby Blues includes a module specifically on learning and coping with mom rage, along with other important topics like mom burnout, high functioning depression, and overstimulation in motherhood. Visit Couples to Cradles Counselling to learn more about how we can support you on your motherhood journey. You’re not alone, and there are tools and support to help you through this.

Sometimes a blog doesn't cut it and you need you more 1:1 support. Click here for a free 20 minute consult from one of our mom therapists (Canadian residents only)

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